Man Pleads Humanity in Public Nudity Case

2 Dec

A New York City court has officially accepted Raj Gupta’s plea of humanity in a recent public nudity case involving Mr. Gupta’s right to go nude on the subway.

The 21-year old performance studies student at NYU’s prestigious Tisch School of the Arts stood accused of public nudity for passing out naked on the A-line in September.  While lawyers were calling this a clear-cut case of public nudity, Mr. Gupta—who was defending himself, decided to fight on the grounds that he is clinically human.

The acceptance of the plea means Mr. Gupta will no longer stand trial, but will instead receive psychological treatment to prepare him for the real world after graduation.

“No seriously though, when I took Gender and Sexuality 201 we talked a lot about how nakedness is natural and our bodies are coerced into prohibitive customs like clothes by laws and social norms and stuff.  Plus I actually am, like, clinically human you know? I might use the video of the court proceedings for my honors thesis…” said Gupta.

New York City courts have only recently started accepting pleas of humanity in rare cases when wealthy college students get into hilarious party snafus.  But the accused student must be able to espouse at least one ambiguous maxim on human nature, learned in a relevant humanities course, in order to make the plea.

Additionally teams of Professors may be brought in to interview the student and determine whether he or she is physically able to stand trial based on how much of the crime was due to collegiate hallucinations about reality.

Most of Raj’s friends are excited about the ruling:

Does being clinically human excuse the drunken desire to take off all your clothes and go to sleep in a public place?

“Well some of us are questioning whether Raj really understood that he could do jail-time for this.  But this is an awesome new loophole.”


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