Herman Cain Admits to Sexy Pizza Deliveries

3 Dec

At an 11:00AM press conference this morning embattled Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain reluctantly admitted he carried out multiple sexy pizza deliveries prior to beginning his 2012 presidential campaign.

Campaign managers are mulling over changing the slogan to "will deliver naked."

Cain arrived late to the press conference sporting a five o’ clock shadow, Godfather’s delivery shirt, no pants, and a pizza box covering his privates.

“The sad truth is that I dressed like this every time I delivered a pizza.” Admitted Cain.  “It’s not something I’m proud of, but I can no longer hide who I really am.  A sexy pizza delivery boy.”

Several former Godfather’s Pizza employees have come forward in recent weeks saying that the former chief executive would often tell drivers to take the night off and proceed to go on 3 hour long deliveries, without pizza orders.

“He always logged the deliveries though… it was awkward stuff like: ‘Successful hot delivery’ or ‘Cain Train delivered the extra sausage’.  We all knew what was up,” said a former Atlanta franchise manager.

His obsessive record keeping of the sexy deliveries has also called into question Cain’s political savvy, and confirmed doubts about his ability to carry out presidential cover-ups if elected.

After vehemently denying claims that he worked as a sexy pool boy on the side while chairing the National Restaurant Association, Cain’s admission to working in at least one of the sexy service industries has come as a shock to many campaign supporters.

“Well, first there were shirtless firefighting accusations, then the whole naked cowboy-farming thing.  I don’t know why but I just kept on believing he was a legitimate candidate,” said Sharon Morgan, an avid tea party enthusiast from Idaho.

Despite these new developments, the Cain campaign says it will not quit. Instead they have announced that all of the deliveries that were filmed would air following his campaign commercials in the interest of full disclosure.

“I don’t want to hide anything anymore,” whispered Cain as he opened the pizza box to reveal himself.


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