Couple Campaign Refinances Home

4 Dec

Carol and Rob Wilson of Cedar Falls New Jersey have successfully campaign refinanced their home in order to reduce their monthly mortgage payments.

Carol and Rob

Carol and Rob on the campaign trail.

After several different attempts to refinance in the past ten years, the Wilsons discovered campaign refinance after reading about US politicians who raise money for campaigns by simply making promises they can’t keep.

“It’s a lot like our situation.  The whole mortgage loan is a promise we can’t keep,” mentioned Rob Wilson, who recently lost his sales job at CarMax.

After meeting with both the United Auto Worker’s Union and General Motors Mr. Wilson realized that in the best possible scenario in which he did keep a promise to a special interest group, he would probably get a lucrative job after the mortgage term ended.

To begin the campaign refinancing process, the Wilsons started at the grass roots level.  They canvassed their neighborhood begging for money from local hardworking people, promising them awesome neighborhood barbecues in the future.  Simultaneously they began an Internet  spamming campaign that clogged inboxes forcing people to pay money without really knowing why, and mostly just to be left alone to browse YouTube.

But what really won the campaign against their mortgage for the Wilsons was the influx of cash from a large private Wal-Mart donation.  The Wal-Mart in Cedar Falls depends on the Wilsons staying in the neighborhood for about 40% of its Men’s Big and Tall sales.

“What we found is that there are almost no rules in the campaign finance world!  Similar to the finance world we bought this mortgage in,” chirped Carol.

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