Minor Trapped in Coal Mine Job

7 Dec

Minors often get stuck working in coal mines in West Virginia.

17-year-old Jeremy Bernard Hanks remains trapped working a dead end job in a coal mine owned by his father in West Virginia.

After two months without access to proper food, water, or human contact—Jeremy continues to suffer everyday in a soul-crushing lightless environment.

The minor was first trapped in his Dad’s house for sixteen years, suffocating under the oppressive rules and antiquated curfews his alcoholic father imposed.  Following his 17th birthday Jeremy was again trapped, this time in his father’s coal mine after a collapse of will power to seek out another job.

“My Dad keeps yelling down the mine shaft that this is a character building experience.  But he’s not the one trapped down here,” said Jeremy over a phone line passed down into the mine, (Knewscorp refused to go down into that shitty, hellish, death trap for an interview).

Jeremy’s mother, Elise Hanks is extremely concerned about her son’s mental state and has enlisted local law enforcement to rescue her son from the dead end job.  Sergeant John Fiske of the Buckhannon Police Department attempted to reach Jeremy and pull him out of the mine with an offer of free enrollment at the police academy.  Mrs. Hanks was shocked to learn that the offer from the police could not wrest her son from the mine, because Jeremy preferred manual labor to being “some phony cop”.

“What we have here is a classic predicament: The minor is deep inside this coalmine, and both he and his father are in denial about the gravity of the situation.  But if he stays trapped down there without a future much longer, his soul will die,” said Sergeant Fiske in a prepared media statement.

The media frenzy surrounding Jeremy’s predicament is largely due to sympathy from fellow echo boomers similarly trapped in what they believe to be underwhelming jobs.  A belief based largely on parentally inflated expectations.

“I just can’t wait until I’m 18 and can apply to college,” said Jeremy.

Despite his optimism, bystanders are speculating that college won’t rescue Jeremy from the mine since he dropped out of high school in order to shaft himself fulltime.

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